struggles

sometimes, it's a struggle to get up in the morning. to go to work. to get myself presentable and focused and awake.
sometimes, it's a struggle to keep it all together. the housework, the day job, the mom stuff, finances.
sometimes, it's a struggle to want to continue to meet men, put forth the effort, and keep the hope alive that one of them will be worth the wait.
sometimes, it's a struggle to find the silver linings in the clouds.
sometimes, it's a struggle to see the bright side, to be excited for a new day and the new opportunities it brings.
sometimes it's a struggle to be a supergirl.
sometimes, i just want a little help.
instead of help, all i seem to find are momentary distractions from my reality.
william was supposed to be the one to help me see myself clearly. but my view became muddled even more. steve brags about how he saves women all the time. but not me. he insists i don't need saving, i just need to smile more. rick, as centered and peaceful as his soul seems, just dragged me down a little bit more when i realized what he was after. here's a hint - it wasn't getting to know me or date me.
i'm not, nor will i ever be, that chick that wants a man to save her.
but a little help, a little reminder, a little happiness in an otherwise dark place, would be welcomed. something  that lasts. something stable. some hope. these struggles are getting too hard to face everyday alone.