september 26

today an old boss visited the office. she retired a few months ago, not long after i got my promotion and the new system went live.
she asked how things with the new system were going. i was honest, and said some things have improved and some seem to be getting worse.
i didn't complain, bitch, or moan about it. i don't think i seemed overly stressed out about it. i just stated the truth.
the next sentence out of her mouth struck me. it's had me thinking all afternoon.
"it's only a job, remember that."
only a job?
this from someone who used to be one of the head accountants in our office?
what did she mean by that?
i don't think i'm a workaholic. i don't think much about work when i'm not there. i enjoy my home life, my daughter and family. i'm not chained to my desk. my time is my time, and work time is just that. do i occasionally stay late, catch up on emails from home after the baby has gone to sleep, or work through lunch to get a little quiet? well, yes. but that is by no means an everyday occurrence. i am actually quite proud of the work that i do, and the balance i have found between my home and work lives.
still it has me thinking. is this actually "just a job?"
no. it's my career.
i have 23 years left before i'm old enough to retire. it's not just a job when you have that long to go.
i have ambitions. i want to go somewhere. i don't view this as just a job. it's a stepping stone for my future, and more importantly, my daughter's future. i try so hard because i want to make something of myself. yes, i'm already an incredible mommy, and so regardless of my career, i will always be something. but, i want to succeed so badly at this "just a job" that i'm willing to do what it takes - the time, the extra effort, the stress... it will be worth it in the end.
it's not just a job. it's a huge part of my self esteem.