Thursday, August 30, 2012

Intro

Hi.
Welcome.
This is my journey.

It occured to me last night, while I was laying in bed listening to my daughter's breathing over the baby monitor, my mind wandering and anxiously waiting for sleep to come over me, that I miss writing.

I don't really know when or why I stopped. I can blame it on not having enough time, but truthfully, if I have the time to change my nail color three times a week, I should have been making time for this. There is something cathartic about writing. Always has been, always will be. So, I'm back.
Somewhere along the path of life over the past couple of years, I feel as though I have lost myself. I have stopped looking inward. I have stopped reflecting, and my feelings don't always make sense to me anymore. I can't always identify what I'm feeling. I just know I want it to go away. And that's not any way to live. I think the first step to reclaiming my thoughts, feelings, life and love of it, is to start writing again.

So here it is. It won't always be pretty or neat. It won't always make sense. Sometimes they will just be words, on paper, so they aren't swirling around in my head making me tired and anxious and moody. So many changes have enveloped me over the past two years, and I never find the time to really process them. So this is my attempt at that.

I want to make sense of my thoughts and feelings.
I want to be sure of the direction of my life, and get it back on track.
I want a clear picture of who I am, and where I'm going.
I want to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made.
I want to be the best mother I can possibly be, and give my daughter everything I can.
I want to enjoy and relish every moment that I am blessed to have with her.
I want to learn to love myself.

These are the most pressing desires I have at the moment. No short task, I'm sure. I have plenty more on my "I want" list, but mostly those come and go. These things are what I hope to get out of this blog, that I hope to keep up with and help me on my journey.

This is my journey. Supergirl's journey.

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